Haunts Around the US: Kissimmee, FL

The dark months of HHNU’s particular subject matter are upon us, but that’s okay because there’s plenty of things we still have to talk about, take for example another year round haunt review, and this time much closer to home!

Mortem Manor in Old Town

Going back in time just a little bit to Septmeber first of this year before Horror Nights 27 finally began, the wife and I decided to kick off our haunt season with a visit to Mortem Manor. We’ve been considering going to this haunt for a while, just never really got around to it. But now that we’ve finally come around to checking it out, we can say without a doubt that it’s…………okay.

Now don’t get me wrong here, it wasn’t terrible or anything, but it wasn’t incredibly knock your socks off terrifying either. I would rate this level of haunt at about a “don’t hesitate to take your scaredy cat friends that don’t do a lot of this type of thing.” The wife and I didn’t get scared or startled, and found ourselves smiling once or twice.

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Standing outside waiting for the attraction to open. Nice spooky music playing at the exterior facade.

The Pros

  • Use of smells
  • Layout isn’t too straight or boring, we liked the inclusion of a staircase
  • Linear progression (from foyer, to living room, to church, to morgue, etc.)
  • Although weak, there is some kind of storyline here.
  • Very affordable price points. If this was Roller Coaster Tycoon,  my guest reaction would definitely be “Mortem Manor 1 is a really good value!”

The Cons

  • Lacking on human actors. I believe we only saw about 3 throughout our walkthrough, and they didn’t follow us or anything, just stuck to their respective scenes.
  • Heavy reliance on animatronics. Animatronics are fine and good when used well and sparsely, but when you use them to this extent, it makes the attraction feel like a cheap carnival/state fair ghost train ride.
  • Not scary. Okay, maybe we’re spoiled. Perhaps we’ve seen too many scarier attractions and our expectations are too high. Nonetheless, this haunt felt very tame and tolerable, suitable for a much less experienced audience.

So what’s the take away here?

Fun can be had at Mortem Manor. Our final review is a fair 3 out of 5 stars. It’s not scare your pants off frightening, but it’s fun. Experienced, die hard haunt fans take note: you won’t be shaking. Bring your friends that you can’t normally take to scary movies, Halloween Horror Nights, or other haunted attractions and events, and lower your scare factor expectations. Follow these steps and you’re in for a jolly good time at the least. Also, for the extra five dollars, we recommend the Buried Alive experience. They lock you in a coffin equipped with interior cameras so guests can watch as you become more and more claustrophobic inside the coffin. Inside, you can smell roses and soil, and hear the dirt hitting the coffin’s surface as your funeral proceedings take place and you’re buried into the Earth. They’ll let you out when you start kicking and screaming. $5 is a great price, even if you just want to watch your friend suffer.

Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you guys out there! -Scott

 

 

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